Last December of 09!

ooo its been such a month! december has finally taken its toll on me..LOTS of things happened! ive had my calculus, physics and english tests which im pretty sure i did well in.. and all i can say is that ive been studyin like a nerd lately..highlight of the month has got to be spending a day at Pavillion with Juria after not seeing her for almost a year! the mall was full of christmas decorations and i was really impressed by it! we watched Couple's Retreat, which was really funny and sweet at the same time..the day consisted of sharing many stories and laughing at lots of things

last night i went to Midvalley and like every other malls in Malaysia, there were lots of christmas decor and there was a performance too! a couple of chinese dancers wearin what looked to be Roman-esque soldiers' uniforms.. unlike my friend who i went with, i bought a lot of books and magazines which will sure keep me busy in the next few weeks! i cant wait to finish readin them all! oh and ive finally bought Frances The Mute after months of searching :D oh theres no way im gonna not say this..

AVATAR in 3D, BEST MOVIE EXPERIENCE EVER 

that aside, i thought id show u guys where i do my studyings and where the magic of Literature happens! :D this is my desk, my sanctuary, my private space!


just in case u guys are wonderin what books i have there, well its from left to right; Ibn Taymeeyah's Essay on the Jinn, In The Shade of the Quran, Kisah Para Nabi & Rasul, Hamlet, Frankenstein, Translations, The Illiad and The Odyssey, The End Of Faith, Los Miserables, CliffNotes on Milton's Paradise Lost, Paradise Lost, Inferno, Jane Eyre and last but not least..Card Tricks :D and from the pic above, u can see i read the Fourtean Times..its a magazine where they publish all the weirdest stories from around the world



Happy Christmas to a certain few and a Happy New Year to all :D

At Least You're Known For Something; flaw-ful and proud :)

What makes someone perfect? Is there even such thing as a perfect human being? Surely by now we can all come to a conclusion that no matter how perfect someone is, there must be something within that person that if revealed to the world, may crush his/her confidence. Why? Well its because thats just the way it is in life. However, i am not about to write a blog on imperfection cause it would take ages. In this blog, the type of imperfection i wanna emphasize on is the most common type...appearance. Everyone of my friends have told me at least once that they dont like the way they look. That they wish they could be more good looking. It may be because theyre being humble or simply because of the fact that theyre not confident in the way they look. Sadly, no matter how they say it, theres a high chance of certainty that its not because theyre just being humble. This is not to say im different. Hell, even i sometimes dont like the way i look. But thats another post entirely. What i wanna get on about is why we keep doin it to ourselves. Why do we keep torturing and downgrade ourselves everytime we look in the mirror? Why cant we just accept how we look like. Be confident! Think about it...we were born this way, so is it really logical to cry because your mom and dad didnt make you a beautiful baby? No cause thats just the way it is. You are who you are, but what you are that makes the difference in getting someone you like.

From a girl's point of view, she might say 'im ugly, thats why no guys ever asked me out'..to me that is total shit straight out of ur tv. The world's got over a billion people living on it. Chances are you will meet someone. Every girl has got just as much chance as Bella Swan in gettin someone like Edward Cullen. What puts Bella ahead of the others? Its her confidence in wanting to strike a conversation with Edward. Imagine if she would just be like the other girls who would only look at Edward from afar. Theres no way she wouldve gotten him. Speakin in that context, the point is if you dont get someone, it does not mean you're ugly, it simply means you dont seem interesting to him. It doesnt matter who makes the first move. Ok I kno all guys would want a pretty/hot/sexy/cute girl for their girlfriend but pretty/hot/sexy/cute doesnt limit to appearances only. It could also relate to personality, interest, attitude, the way you talk or how you act. Do not conform into the common image that you have to dress up and make up so much in order to get a guy. Think, do not dress yourself into somethin uncomfortable just to get a guy to like you cause its only hurting yourself. Just be yourself and be confident, you're not the only one who has imperfection.. Everyone on earth does.

From a guy's point of view, well being a guy, i could certainly say a lot. As messy, dirty, rough, and unorganized that we are, we do have feelings and like girls, we also have imperfection..then again who doesnt? Anyway from life experience, most guys have low self-esteem. Some of us are veryyy shy and at times embarassed at how we look. There are lots of guys who look at themselves in the mirror and wishin they werent fat, dark, short, dork, or dress up badly. There are lots of other imperfection but as mentioned earlier, i'm only focusin on appearance. However despite all the negativity, we never get jealous if we see some other guy steal our girl. Because we kno that if we dont get someone, its not the end of the world. Its just somethin to do with the cosmic interference. There are lots of other girls in the world to hook up with. This just shows how different boys feel about their imperfection; we're not that emotional even though we have lower self esteem. If you dont believe me, imagine this scenario.. a girl/guy asks a guy/girl to go out with him. Who would be the more nervous one prior to goin out on the date? I can guarantee you that itd be the guy..and statistics proves it too. Surveys conducted not some time ago suggested that of 500 guys who were asked about dating, 69% of them admitted that they feel really nervous when they go out on a date. Now being a guy, when i read that statistic, it really doesnt help at all. However on the bright side, at least i kno im not the only who feels nervous when i go out on a date. But this does not mean us guys shouldnt just let statistic make our decisions and determine our actions, we have to stop feeling bad about how we look. we have to feel confident cause girls like guys who are confident ( i asked a couple of my girl friends and they all agree to that, looks are second).

However you may look, unique, normal or beautiful, theres no denyin that no matter how often u look in the mirror, theres always a sense of wantin more to satisfy the opposite sex. That has got to stop in my opinion. You only live life once and if you're afraid to take risks and be adventurous and care-free, i can assure you that you are missing the bigger picture of life. You are who you are, make use of what you have and dont linger around about not feeling good about your look. I used to be like that too. I used to look at myself everytime i see a mirror and say 'wow i look gay', but after movin to schools after schools, countries after countries, continents after continents, I eventually stop as i realise that nobody's perfect and it wont do anybody any good to think what others think about you. Sure i have my own imperfections such as that i have muscular legs(i dont look good in wearin fitted jeans), but time made me wonder why do i need to spend an hour in front of the mirror to look good for everybody? to whom do i owe to of dressin up, what do i have to prove? The answer is nothin, i dont have to prove to anybody anythin. People who tries to blend in the latest trend and shows off in public are conformists. Theyre the saddest people in the world cause they try so hard to show other people theyre cool. Well fuck that, no matter how you look like, you'll always be known for something. Having been said that I hope my friends realise how perfect actually they really are in my eyes. For they should never forget, we are all precious and valuable just the way we are! As for the others, I encourage you all to give yourselves a good look in the mirror and notice your flaws. Look at them and remind yourself that they make you who you are!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

Brand New Eyes

last night ive decided to change the name of my blog from Cut Down All The Trees.. to The Poet You Never Were. The reason i changed it is because i feel the new name somehow reflects more of who i really am and this statement of trying to be someone i can never be has never been more closer than i thought..so here's to the new name.
Oh and ive also picked a new template for the whole blog..u kno, to celebrate :)

Postlapsaria

"I am the horizon

I have dreamed of tracing rings around this world

My arms are stretched to forever

My fingers shake with the fear of control

The fear I know you all know so well

We all lay claim to our destinies

Yet we all rise and fall with the current"

Diary of a Rapist- 'Interlude'

and so I woke up to the awkward rhythm of her body motionless in bed..her closed hands and open tears on her cheeks.. i have forgotten how to feel but what is this feeling that i have inside? this sense of insecurity yet full of satisfaction..i believe that she have died within me. I no longer know her name and she no longer exists for she was just a dead body with an empty soul. Bruises all over her.. I got up to look at my watch. It was 5 in the morning.. I looked around the room to admire the naked figure, one of the many works ive finished-it was nothing personal, we dream of wisdom but I yearn only for you. Taking all my belongings, I left the room...step by step we separate further

Venus and Bacchus

my top 'to-buy' list!

"For the first time, he heard something that he knew to be music. He heard people singing. Behind him, across vast distances of space and time, from the place he had left, he thought he heard music too. But perhaps, it was only an echo."

- Lois Lowry, The Giver

"The real underlying flaw in your life is that you don't think I am good. If you knew I was good and that everything-the means, the ends, and all the processes of individual lives- is all covered by my goodness, then while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust me. But you don't."

- William P. Young, The Shack

Diary of a Rapist- 'Power-assertive'

dear diary, i have sinned. Last night i met a lovely girl at the bar. In her early 20's, she was really beautiful; her brown eyes, her brown wavy hair, her lips and her perfect complexion. I just had to have her. Wearing a red dress and a pearl necklace that compliments her skin, she was alone. She was sittin at the corner with a drink. Right when i saw her, iknew I couldnt stop it, the feeling, the urge, the need. I sat a couple of seats away from her. I looked at her. I stared at her. She was going to be mine. Studying her every move, i could see that she wants it too. I walked up to her and asked to buy a drink. She said yes. Her name was Helen. A secretary at the IMB corp. The night was still young. We talked and talked as we drink the night away. Everytime i look at those brown eyes, they reminded me of my daughter. Fuck, you are mine honey. I keep insisting in buying her another drink after she finished hers. The whole time i was looking deeply into her. The urge was stronger than ever. She laughed at my thoughts that women were inferior. I'll show her inferior. Just a few more drinks bitch. It was approximately 2am when she finally thought i was a nice person. She got up to leave and i asked her whether i can send her home. She said yes. The need to have her was so irresistable. It must happen. I couldnt stop it. I took her to my car and drove her to her place. It was a quiet journey, i could tell she was tired. We finally reached the front of her house. Quite a big place for a secretary. I walked her to the door. She said she had a great time, hoping to see me again. I watched her open the door and then i knew it. That moment was my opportunity, it must happen, i must have her, i must do it. I grabbed her and held her from behind. Shhh..or i will fuckin kill you. We made our way in and closed the door.. She tried struggling out of my grip. I was having none of it, i only wanted her. I took her to her room, I threw her on the bed. She screamed in tears 'Let me go! HELP!'... Help? Help? noone is gonna save you bitch. I slapped her hard and started unbuttoning my shirt. She was still dizzy from the hit. I got on her, i ripped out her clothes.. I was in control..'Twas a dark and silent night