Postlapsaria

"I am the horizon

I have dreamed of tracing rings around this world

My arms are stretched to forever

My fingers shake with the fear of control

The fear I know you all know so well

We all lay claim to our destinies

Yet we all rise and fall with the current"

Diary of a Rapist- 'Interlude'

and so I woke up to the awkward rhythm of her body motionless in bed..her closed hands and open tears on her cheeks.. i have forgotten how to feel but what is this feeling that i have inside? this sense of insecurity yet full of satisfaction..i believe that she have died within me. I no longer know her name and she no longer exists for she was just a dead body with an empty soul. Bruises all over her.. I got up to look at my watch. It was 5 in the morning.. I looked around the room to admire the naked figure, one of the many works ive finished-it was nothing personal, we dream of wisdom but I yearn only for you. Taking all my belongings, I left the room...step by step we separate further

Venus and Bacchus

my top 'to-buy' list!

"For the first time, he heard something that he knew to be music. He heard people singing. Behind him, across vast distances of space and time, from the place he had left, he thought he heard music too. But perhaps, it was only an echo."

- Lois Lowry, The Giver

"The real underlying flaw in your life is that you don't think I am good. If you knew I was good and that everything-the means, the ends, and all the processes of individual lives- is all covered by my goodness, then while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust me. But you don't."

- William P. Young, The Shack

Diary of a Rapist- 'Power-assertive'

dear diary, i have sinned. Last night i met a lovely girl at the bar. In her early 20's, she was really beautiful; her brown eyes, her brown wavy hair, her lips and her perfect complexion. I just had to have her. Wearing a red dress and a pearl necklace that compliments her skin, she was alone. She was sittin at the corner with a drink. Right when i saw her, iknew I couldnt stop it, the feeling, the urge, the need. I sat a couple of seats away from her. I looked at her. I stared at her. She was going to be mine. Studying her every move, i could see that she wants it too. I walked up to her and asked to buy a drink. She said yes. Her name was Helen. A secretary at the IMB corp. The night was still young. We talked and talked as we drink the night away. Everytime i look at those brown eyes, they reminded me of my daughter. Fuck, you are mine honey. I keep insisting in buying her another drink after she finished hers. The whole time i was looking deeply into her. The urge was stronger than ever. She laughed at my thoughts that women were inferior. I'll show her inferior. Just a few more drinks bitch. It was approximately 2am when she finally thought i was a nice person. She got up to leave and i asked her whether i can send her home. She said yes. The need to have her was so irresistable. It must happen. I couldnt stop it. I took her to my car and drove her to her place. It was a quiet journey, i could tell she was tired. We finally reached the front of her house. Quite a big place for a secretary. I walked her to the door. She said she had a great time, hoping to see me again. I watched her open the door and then i knew it. That moment was my opportunity, it must happen, i must have her, i must do it. I grabbed her and held her from behind. Shhh..or i will fuckin kill you. We made our way in and closed the door.. She tried struggling out of my grip. I was having none of it, i only wanted her. I took her to her room, I threw her on the bed. She screamed in tears 'Let me go! HELP!'... Help? Help? noone is gonna save you bitch. I slapped her hard and started unbuttoning my shirt. She was still dizzy from the hit. I got on her, i ripped out her clothes.. I was in control..'Twas a dark and silent night

Purple Dogs

Hello blog! It has been almost a month or so? that i last post a story or somethin u kno..that is actually bad because i told my dad and my literature teacher that i will always write..it seems lately, ive been tooo busy with my studies u kno, especially with the finals coming up next week.. to be honest, ive never been more scared than ever about my finals..i guess u can say that i havent really been aiming for that 4.00 ever since i got here..im hoping to really start all over again once i enter the degree programme.. SO! bein optimistic here, DEAN, here i come! 

anyway the point of this blog along with reading books, is to basically help me maintain my level of english.. recently people are sayin im losing my american accent..thats not good however and i got sooo stressed out and pissed off by it.. partly to blame is my ego i guess..i just cant stand talkin english with some of my malay friends..u see, when i talk, they sometimes make fun and thats normal i guess cause i make fun of their lousy english as well so we're even.. this backfired and now im payin the consequences haha not to worry though, because my best buddy moe is gonna come here next month to study here..so hopefully by hangin out with him every weekend; not those gay-kinda-thing, i can steadily get back to how i usually am haha if that make sense

arghhh i cant wait for the holidays! after my finals, i have like 3 weeks or so before class starts again..been meaning to revisit a certain Kelly's Castle somewhere in umm i dont kno i forgot hahaha its a historical building with sooo many mysteries surrounding it..im a sucker for these things, i just love mysteries and myths and tales and stuff u kno.. 

so what was i really gonna say today... oh yeah! MOVIES! even though im suppose to be sweating my ass off studyin, i have been watchin late night movies! last night i watched the classic Army of Darkness! it was soo awesome! i forgot how much i missed it! Bruce is sooo bad ass! well ok i think this is long enough of a blog for me to post..lets see what else can i say to make this entry longer..

this evening, in exactly one hour, im suppose to be giving a speech about the Presidential State Car of the United States but im sooo not bothered and im soo lazy.. the lecturer seems to like me speaking, which is weird cause nobody in class understands me hahaha 

now! i better get goin! Mass Relationships in Chemical Reactions is waittttttting for me! oh and i noticed that people use blogs to criticise people or just write stories or somethin..im gonna do it, im gonna promote, make fun, and post good stuffs from now on haha

thats all for now! Purple dogs on a Sunday afternoon

May The Force Be With You

-Haz

NEW BLOG COMING SOON!

Hello! Welcome to the latest edition of Haz's Cut Down All The Trees...its 5 in the evening! everythins been goin well with me! i kno its been a while since ive posted anythin..ive been sooo busy! wow! anyway, just wanted to let u kno that ill be postin new stories and stuff again as soon as i get back home! anyway! till then! bye!

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

Blind!

Hello everyone! welcome again, to the latest edition of Haz's Cut Down All The Trees! hope you're all doin fine..i dont kno why i'm doin this blog..its not like people are readin it...its not like people who are close to me actually give a shit of what i think..they do and they dont, who gives a fuck? i'm quite pissed right now as u may have noticed...two things: why i keep waitin for the wrong person and how blind i was for waitin in the first place... a couple of days ago, i decided to post a blog on how evil women are..how they were the cause of all the sufferings we've experienced on earth..hell, they even got us down here in the first place..we couldve been in heaven..

However, i decided not to post it because it would probably hurt the wrong people...the truth is, im only ever pissed at this one particular person..whos made me wait for so long, only to not have really noticed that i was actually waitin...what else can a guy do..ahh shit..its all goin downhill..i'm tryin to move on..seriously, if u really kno whats goin on, u wouldnt be soo pretendin to kno everythin..ive already deleted her number, her yahoo and msn off...i may look like someone whos desperate and rebellious and all those other emo terms shit..but try to look things at my point of view..ok theres this girl, i like her very much...even loved her at one point...being a world apart, i was always willing to wait for her to come on just to get a hi/hey/hello from her..i was always smilin when shes on...i looked so annoyin then, but i have always been her admirer..months go by, and even a year and stuff...i keep sayin to myself, 'wait haz..shes worth the wait'...so yeah..i was a sucker for these things..i get fooled almost as easily as tiger woods winnin the pga..thats not the point though, the point is, i waited for too long a time for her and yeah...like i said earlier, she didnt even notice..it was as if i dont exist...so fuck it..i know its hard, but urgh... do you know how a man like me can be relieved of all the stress and tension? i guess now i can do is to look forward..and that is a future without her

oh you're soooo sensitive, stop complainin, what do you expect?, stop whinin and get a life loser..yeah those are just some of the things u might say when u read this, but i dont kno...i guess a little sign or even a small gesture to let me know its all in fact, worth the wait?