Last December of 09!

ooo its been such a month! december has finally taken its toll on me..LOTS of things happened! ive had my calculus, physics and english tests which im pretty sure i did well in.. and all i can say is that ive been studyin like a nerd lately..highlight of the month has got to be spending a day at Pavillion with Juria after not seeing her for almost a year! the mall was full of christmas decorations and i was really impressed by it! we watched Couple's Retreat, which was really funny and sweet at the same time..the day consisted of sharing many stories and laughing at lots of things

last night i went to Midvalley and like every other malls in Malaysia, there were lots of christmas decor and there was a performance too! a couple of chinese dancers wearin what looked to be Roman-esque soldiers' uniforms.. unlike my friend who i went with, i bought a lot of books and magazines which will sure keep me busy in the next few weeks! i cant wait to finish readin them all! oh and ive finally bought Frances The Mute after months of searching :D oh theres no way im gonna not say this..

AVATAR in 3D, BEST MOVIE EXPERIENCE EVER 

that aside, i thought id show u guys where i do my studyings and where the magic of Literature happens! :D this is my desk, my sanctuary, my private space!


just in case u guys are wonderin what books i have there, well its from left to right; Ibn Taymeeyah's Essay on the Jinn, In The Shade of the Quran, Kisah Para Nabi & Rasul, Hamlet, Frankenstein, Translations, The Illiad and The Odyssey, The End Of Faith, Los Miserables, CliffNotes on Milton's Paradise Lost, Paradise Lost, Inferno, Jane Eyre and last but not least..Card Tricks :D and from the pic above, u can see i read the Fourtean Times..its a magazine where they publish all the weirdest stories from around the world



Happy Christmas to a certain few and a Happy New Year to all :D

At Least You're Known For Something; flaw-ful and proud :)

What makes someone perfect? Is there even such thing as a perfect human being? Surely by now we can all come to a conclusion that no matter how perfect someone is, there must be something within that person that if revealed to the world, may crush his/her confidence. Why? Well its because thats just the way it is in life. However, i am not about to write a blog on imperfection cause it would take ages. In this blog, the type of imperfection i wanna emphasize on is the most common type...appearance. Everyone of my friends have told me at least once that they dont like the way they look. That they wish they could be more good looking. It may be because theyre being humble or simply because of the fact that theyre not confident in the way they look. Sadly, no matter how they say it, theres a high chance of certainty that its not because theyre just being humble. This is not to say im different. Hell, even i sometimes dont like the way i look. But thats another post entirely. What i wanna get on about is why we keep doin it to ourselves. Why do we keep torturing and downgrade ourselves everytime we look in the mirror? Why cant we just accept how we look like. Be confident! Think about it...we were born this way, so is it really logical to cry because your mom and dad didnt make you a beautiful baby? No cause thats just the way it is. You are who you are, but what you are that makes the difference in getting someone you like.

From a girl's point of view, she might say 'im ugly, thats why no guys ever asked me out'..to me that is total shit straight out of ur tv. The world's got over a billion people living on it. Chances are you will meet someone. Every girl has got just as much chance as Bella Swan in gettin someone like Edward Cullen. What puts Bella ahead of the others? Its her confidence in wanting to strike a conversation with Edward. Imagine if she would just be like the other girls who would only look at Edward from afar. Theres no way she wouldve gotten him. Speakin in that context, the point is if you dont get someone, it does not mean you're ugly, it simply means you dont seem interesting to him. It doesnt matter who makes the first move. Ok I kno all guys would want a pretty/hot/sexy/cute girl for their girlfriend but pretty/hot/sexy/cute doesnt limit to appearances only. It could also relate to personality, interest, attitude, the way you talk or how you act. Do not conform into the common image that you have to dress up and make up so much in order to get a guy. Think, do not dress yourself into somethin uncomfortable just to get a guy to like you cause its only hurting yourself. Just be yourself and be confident, you're not the only one who has imperfection.. Everyone on earth does.

From a guy's point of view, well being a guy, i could certainly say a lot. As messy, dirty, rough, and unorganized that we are, we do have feelings and like girls, we also have imperfection..then again who doesnt? Anyway from life experience, most guys have low self-esteem. Some of us are veryyy shy and at times embarassed at how we look. There are lots of guys who look at themselves in the mirror and wishin they werent fat, dark, short, dork, or dress up badly. There are lots of other imperfection but as mentioned earlier, i'm only focusin on appearance. However despite all the negativity, we never get jealous if we see some other guy steal our girl. Because we kno that if we dont get someone, its not the end of the world. Its just somethin to do with the cosmic interference. There are lots of other girls in the world to hook up with. This just shows how different boys feel about their imperfection; we're not that emotional even though we have lower self esteem. If you dont believe me, imagine this scenario.. a girl/guy asks a guy/girl to go out with him. Who would be the more nervous one prior to goin out on the date? I can guarantee you that itd be the guy..and statistics proves it too. Surveys conducted not some time ago suggested that of 500 guys who were asked about dating, 69% of them admitted that they feel really nervous when they go out on a date. Now being a guy, when i read that statistic, it really doesnt help at all. However on the bright side, at least i kno im not the only who feels nervous when i go out on a date. But this does not mean us guys shouldnt just let statistic make our decisions and determine our actions, we have to stop feeling bad about how we look. we have to feel confident cause girls like guys who are confident ( i asked a couple of my girl friends and they all agree to that, looks are second).

However you may look, unique, normal or beautiful, theres no denyin that no matter how often u look in the mirror, theres always a sense of wantin more to satisfy the opposite sex. That has got to stop in my opinion. You only live life once and if you're afraid to take risks and be adventurous and care-free, i can assure you that you are missing the bigger picture of life. You are who you are, make use of what you have and dont linger around about not feeling good about your look. I used to be like that too. I used to look at myself everytime i see a mirror and say 'wow i look gay', but after movin to schools after schools, countries after countries, continents after continents, I eventually stop as i realise that nobody's perfect and it wont do anybody any good to think what others think about you. Sure i have my own imperfections such as that i have muscular legs(i dont look good in wearin fitted jeans), but time made me wonder why do i need to spend an hour in front of the mirror to look good for everybody? to whom do i owe to of dressin up, what do i have to prove? The answer is nothin, i dont have to prove to anybody anythin. People who tries to blend in the latest trend and shows off in public are conformists. Theyre the saddest people in the world cause they try so hard to show other people theyre cool. Well fuck that, no matter how you look like, you'll always be known for something. Having been said that I hope my friends realise how perfect actually they really are in my eyes. For they should never forget, we are all precious and valuable just the way we are! As for the others, I encourage you all to give yourselves a good look in the mirror and notice your flaws. Look at them and remind yourself that they make you who you are!

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

Brand New Eyes

last night ive decided to change the name of my blog from Cut Down All The Trees.. to The Poet You Never Were. The reason i changed it is because i feel the new name somehow reflects more of who i really am and this statement of trying to be someone i can never be has never been more closer than i thought..so here's to the new name.
Oh and ive also picked a new template for the whole blog..u kno, to celebrate :)

Postlapsaria

"I am the horizon

I have dreamed of tracing rings around this world

My arms are stretched to forever

My fingers shake with the fear of control

The fear I know you all know so well

We all lay claim to our destinies

Yet we all rise and fall with the current"

Diary of a Rapist- 'Interlude'

and so I woke up to the awkward rhythm of her body motionless in bed..her closed hands and open tears on her cheeks.. i have forgotten how to feel but what is this feeling that i have inside? this sense of insecurity yet full of satisfaction..i believe that she have died within me. I no longer know her name and she no longer exists for she was just a dead body with an empty soul. Bruises all over her.. I got up to look at my watch. It was 5 in the morning.. I looked around the room to admire the naked figure, one of the many works ive finished-it was nothing personal, we dream of wisdom but I yearn only for you. Taking all my belongings, I left the room...step by step we separate further

Venus and Bacchus

my top 'to-buy' list!

"For the first time, he heard something that he knew to be music. He heard people singing. Behind him, across vast distances of space and time, from the place he had left, he thought he heard music too. But perhaps, it was only an echo."

- Lois Lowry, The Giver

"The real underlying flaw in your life is that you don't think I am good. If you knew I was good and that everything-the means, the ends, and all the processes of individual lives- is all covered by my goodness, then while you might not always understand what I am doing, you would trust me. But you don't."

- William P. Young, The Shack

Diary of a Rapist- 'Power-assertive'

dear diary, i have sinned. Last night i met a lovely girl at the bar. In her early 20's, she was really beautiful; her brown eyes, her brown wavy hair, her lips and her perfect complexion. I just had to have her. Wearing a red dress and a pearl necklace that compliments her skin, she was alone. She was sittin at the corner with a drink. Right when i saw her, iknew I couldnt stop it, the feeling, the urge, the need. I sat a couple of seats away from her. I looked at her. I stared at her. She was going to be mine. Studying her every move, i could see that she wants it too. I walked up to her and asked to buy a drink. She said yes. Her name was Helen. A secretary at the IMB corp. The night was still young. We talked and talked as we drink the night away. Everytime i look at those brown eyes, they reminded me of my daughter. Fuck, you are mine honey. I keep insisting in buying her another drink after she finished hers. The whole time i was looking deeply into her. The urge was stronger than ever. She laughed at my thoughts that women were inferior. I'll show her inferior. Just a few more drinks bitch. It was approximately 2am when she finally thought i was a nice person. She got up to leave and i asked her whether i can send her home. She said yes. The need to have her was so irresistable. It must happen. I couldnt stop it. I took her to my car and drove her to her place. It was a quiet journey, i could tell she was tired. We finally reached the front of her house. Quite a big place for a secretary. I walked her to the door. She said she had a great time, hoping to see me again. I watched her open the door and then i knew it. That moment was my opportunity, it must happen, i must have her, i must do it. I grabbed her and held her from behind. Shhh..or i will fuckin kill you. We made our way in and closed the door.. She tried struggling out of my grip. I was having none of it, i only wanted her. I took her to her room, I threw her on the bed. She screamed in tears 'Let me go! HELP!'... Help? Help? noone is gonna save you bitch. I slapped her hard and started unbuttoning my shirt. She was still dizzy from the hit. I got on her, i ripped out her clothes.. I was in control..'Twas a dark and silent night

Purple Dogs

Hello blog! It has been almost a month or so? that i last post a story or somethin u kno..that is actually bad because i told my dad and my literature teacher that i will always write..it seems lately, ive been tooo busy with my studies u kno, especially with the finals coming up next week.. to be honest, ive never been more scared than ever about my finals..i guess u can say that i havent really been aiming for that 4.00 ever since i got here..im hoping to really start all over again once i enter the degree programme.. SO! bein optimistic here, DEAN, here i come! 

anyway the point of this blog along with reading books, is to basically help me maintain my level of english.. recently people are sayin im losing my american accent..thats not good however and i got sooo stressed out and pissed off by it.. partly to blame is my ego i guess..i just cant stand talkin english with some of my malay friends..u see, when i talk, they sometimes make fun and thats normal i guess cause i make fun of their lousy english as well so we're even.. this backfired and now im payin the consequences haha not to worry though, because my best buddy moe is gonna come here next month to study here..so hopefully by hangin out with him every weekend; not those gay-kinda-thing, i can steadily get back to how i usually am haha if that make sense

arghhh i cant wait for the holidays! after my finals, i have like 3 weeks or so before class starts again..been meaning to revisit a certain Kelly's Castle somewhere in umm i dont kno i forgot hahaha its a historical building with sooo many mysteries surrounding it..im a sucker for these things, i just love mysteries and myths and tales and stuff u kno.. 

so what was i really gonna say today... oh yeah! MOVIES! even though im suppose to be sweating my ass off studyin, i have been watchin late night movies! last night i watched the classic Army of Darkness! it was soo awesome! i forgot how much i missed it! Bruce is sooo bad ass! well ok i think this is long enough of a blog for me to post..lets see what else can i say to make this entry longer..

this evening, in exactly one hour, im suppose to be giving a speech about the Presidential State Car of the United States but im sooo not bothered and im soo lazy.. the lecturer seems to like me speaking, which is weird cause nobody in class understands me hahaha 

now! i better get goin! Mass Relationships in Chemical Reactions is waittttttting for me! oh and i noticed that people use blogs to criticise people or just write stories or somethin..im gonna do it, im gonna promote, make fun, and post good stuffs from now on haha

thats all for now! Purple dogs on a Sunday afternoon

May The Force Be With You

-Haz

NEW BLOG COMING SOON!

Hello! Welcome to the latest edition of Haz's Cut Down All The Trees...its 5 in the evening! everythins been goin well with me! i kno its been a while since ive posted anythin..ive been sooo busy! wow! anyway, just wanted to let u kno that ill be postin new stories and stuff again as soon as i get back home! anyway! till then! bye!

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU

Blind!

Hello everyone! welcome again, to the latest edition of Haz's Cut Down All The Trees! hope you're all doin fine..i dont kno why i'm doin this blog..its not like people are readin it...its not like people who are close to me actually give a shit of what i think..they do and they dont, who gives a fuck? i'm quite pissed right now as u may have noticed...two things: why i keep waitin for the wrong person and how blind i was for waitin in the first place... a couple of days ago, i decided to post a blog on how evil women are..how they were the cause of all the sufferings we've experienced on earth..hell, they even got us down here in the first place..we couldve been in heaven..

However, i decided not to post it because it would probably hurt the wrong people...the truth is, im only ever pissed at this one particular person..whos made me wait for so long, only to not have really noticed that i was actually waitin...what else can a guy do..ahh shit..its all goin downhill..i'm tryin to move on..seriously, if u really kno whats goin on, u wouldnt be soo pretendin to kno everythin..ive already deleted her number, her yahoo and msn off...i may look like someone whos desperate and rebellious and all those other emo terms shit..but try to look things at my point of view..ok theres this girl, i like her very much...even loved her at one point...being a world apart, i was always willing to wait for her to come on just to get a hi/hey/hello from her..i was always smilin when shes on...i looked so annoyin then, but i have always been her admirer..months go by, and even a year and stuff...i keep sayin to myself, 'wait haz..shes worth the wait'...so yeah..i was a sucker for these things..i get fooled almost as easily as tiger woods winnin the pga..thats not the point though, the point is, i waited for too long a time for her and yeah...like i said earlier, she didnt even notice..it was as if i dont exist...so fuck it..i know its hard, but urgh... do you know how a man like me can be relieved of all the stress and tension? i guess now i can do is to look forward..and that is a future without her

oh you're soooo sensitive, stop complainin, what do you expect?, stop whinin and get a life loser..yeah those are just some of the things u might say when u read this, but i dont kno...i guess a little sign or even a small gesture to let me know its all in fact, worth the wait? 

GIG AT SALMAH CAFE! (is the spellin right?)

ONE WORD DESCRIBING THE GIG: GREAT!

TWO WORDS DESCRIBING THE SOUND: NO VOCALS?

THREE WORDS DESCRIBING THE BANDS: TWO THUMBS UP!

FOUR WORDS DESCRIBING THE CROWD: HEY! WHERE IS EVERYONE?

FIVE WORDS DESCRIBING MALEENA'S PERFORMANCE: THE BEST PERFORMANCE TONIGHT FOLKS!

SIX WORDS DESCRIBING THE BASSIST OF MALEENA: IS YOUR BASSIST BETTER THEN OURS?

7 WORDS DESCRIBING MALEENA: HEY MALEENA, CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!

8 WORDS DESCRIBING THE SONGS: "TO SING...MALEENA. TO LISTEN...DIVINE." AMEN BROTHER!

26th of Feb 1990

There comes a time when a man has to accept that he is gettin old..he is no longer a child, but an adult, who has to take responsibilities of his actions and start thinkin more rationally and wisely. Just like Peter's uncle said before he got shot... "With experience, comes great responsibilities" This is definitely true. A man can't be a kid forever.. He has to move on and see things more seriously. He should already set down a path he wishes to take..A life of meaning or a life of happiness? Two very different paths indeed. For someone who wants to have a life of meaning would be more cautious of his actions and would dwell upon the past and every mistakes he has made..lots of thinkin but not enough action..For someone who wants to have a life of happiness, he would only do anythin he can to seek happiness, and has become a robot in doin so...just spendin his life on doin 'fun' things and not regrettin his achievements..lots of action but not enough thinkin...Hamlet was a thinkin man, a man who sought a meanin in life..Laertes on the other hand, was a man of action, who sought revenge

anyway, i know what you're thinkin..ur probably sayin what on earth is this guy talkin about? haha well yeah i myself dont know why i wrote all that..I mean, i just turned 19 a few hours ago! 

BADDD news for me..Madrid didnt win at home..we lost to Liverpool last night..i didnt see the match for i was sleepin on my bed like a new born babe..ahh how unfortunate was i...

BIGGGG day ahead of me! I'm 19 and i shall be celebratin! I'm the same age as my sister Lyana now hahaha GAY!

Last but not least, i wanna thank Jay, Lyana, Ylia and Danial for makin me smile early in the morning by wishin me Happy Birthday :D

May the force be with you

-Haz

Dubai in Dubai

hello! welcome to the latest edition of Haz's Cut Down All The Trees! i'm here in Dubai for my 2 weeks holiday! arrived here a couple of days ago...4 to be exact..got here at like 3am in the morning...the journey here wasnt that 'fun'...i was sneezin all over the place...i sat next to this arabic lady who was on her way to Lebanon..she tried to be friendly; 'are you goin to Dubai or Lebanon?' 'are u goin to Dubai to study or work?' 'do u kno how to speak arabic?' 'is this ur first time goin to dubai?'...but i wasnt really IN the mood so all i did was yeahs and nos loll..its not that shes bad or anythin negative, its me..i was sniffin and sneezin u kno...it took me approximately 6-7 hours to finally land at the airport..there were no in-flight movies..which sucked, but who cares now that im here already..in the first 5 hours, i was sleepin like a new-born babe...when i awoke, i was a total shambles loll..remember the 7 dwarves that was livin with Snow White in the forest? yeah one of em sneezes every 5 seconds..thats me..it was really horrible, ive nooo idea what caused it..

my first few days of Dubai was sweet..i saw my new house for the first time and i am REALLY impressed! its super comfy, super cozy, super nice and super great! im gonna describe to u in detail, how the rooms in the house look like...

1st Living Room- ALL WHITE

2nd Living Room- SWEET

Dining Room- A NICE COMFY PLACE TO EAT

Way to the kitchen- PERFECTO!

Kitchen-PERFECTE!

Movie Room- NO 'INTERESTING' CHANNELS BUT STILL AWESOME! :P

MY ROOM-THERES A BALCONY, LOVELY BED, NO TV OR COMPUTER THOUGH

Sisters' Room- MEH...

Parent's Room- OOOO I'M JEALOUS! ITS BIG AND I LOVE THE CLOSET!

Backyard-A GREAT PLACE TO HAVE BBQ 

Swimming Pool- ITS COLD!!!!!!

OVERALL RATING 9/10

so there you have it..my full in-depth analysis of my new house...since ive said everythin that i can possibly say about the house, its time to move on to the city of Sharjah...lots of shoppin malls here...big ones too! there are lots of tall buildings as well..although not as much as KL..but somethin particularly caught my eye the other night..my parents were showin me around the city and among the many tall buildings that i saw, this one building stood out greatly..i asked my mom 'mama, what building is this? its really tall...twice as tall as the other tall buildings...or more!'...my mom said that its going to be the tallest building in the world in a few years time...i'm like really? shes like yes, amazing isnt it? its not even 60% completed yet but all i can say is WOW! its a modern marvel...simply shows how lucky we are to live in an era where the sky is the limit...

Sharjah isnt exactly that different to Qatar...lots of Ferarris (gettin common to my eyes) and luxurious cars..umm the people are alike too in a way..lots of Phillipinos and Indians and outsiders aside from Arabs..everythin else is the same..the only thing thats better here in Sharjah than in Qatar is the shoppin malls! soooo many brands of clothing...Zara and HnM, my two favs.. lots more, im just too lazy to list em all..

Alright then, thats that for now! i shall take lots of pics tomorrow or somethin to show u what ur actually missin cause i'm a nice guy...till then, may the force be with you

I LOVE SEXY PRECIOUS IN BLUE!

-Haz

Miranda, That Ghost Just Isn't Holy Anymore

ohh! its been a while since ive posted a new blog! well dont blame me, ive been a good boy and studyin my butt off for my finals! i cant afford to fall at the final hurdle now, time is money, and money is gold..and i dont wanna waste gold. its 4:30am here in Bangi, Malaysia and im listenin to Mars Volta..i have my chemistry text book and notes on my right, calculator hidden beneath them, FnN strawberry on my left along with my wallet, guitar chord book and deodorant spray..my roommates behind me, sleepin and talkin at the same time..how that is possible is just one of the many wonders of God. Freud may know a few things about this...but im pretty sure hes dead though. Anyway im gonna have my finals in a week and im so not prepared yet. Ive only started studyin yesterday... oh yeah, i borrowed a new book! 'Fantasy: The Liberation of Imagination' by Richard Matthews..im pretty excited to finish it..ive read a couple of pages and im already impressed by it! again, i was the first one to borrow the book..

Today i finished my Computing Skills assignment..i did a piece on Adolf Hitler. 18 colorful slides of HITLER! Its quite attractive and interestin. If i dont get an A for this, im so gonna rape my lecturer..i spent over 7 hours doin it...my back and neck hurts bad! Yesterday i saw my college friends for the first time in 2 weeks! i missed them so much! dekwan and jali cut their hair..dekwan is one bad-ass Michael Schofield now hahaha nothin new with me though, except the fact that i got a new pair of jeans! its black, as usual, and made in Japan..i used to have somethin against japanese products, but after spendin time with my cousins, i say to myself 'japs are alright'..
hazel's got a job..puttin paper into an envelope and gettin paid for it..i wish i can get paid for doin nothin

Three days ago was the real deal! I went to Pavilion with my cousin..i havent been to the city for a long long time so i was sooo anxious, hyper and gay. i was lookin at the tall buildings and amazin structures and it was all so awesome! i love malaysia! i went with my cousin to give his CV to this hot 20+ woman who drove a red car..i was wearin slipers and by the time we get to her, my toes are all red and bleedin from all the fast walkin and stuff..
i saw many people and many tourists and many foreigners and many malays and many hookers and many more. i saw a poor handicapped man who has no legs and only one hand crossin the busy streets! damn! no one was helpin him..he begged for money when he got to the other side of the road.. i also saw this cool guy on this cool scooter-like platform ridin around the streets of Pavilion..pretty high-tech stuff! tht mans a geek! the lights and views were splendid and i really cant express how happy i was that day! ahhhhhh i wanna go to KL again..

Two things im lookin forward to in the next few days! ONE-goin to the airport and TWO-GOIN TO DUBAI! yeah thats right, i'm goin to Dubai in 10 days! gonna see my family and my new house in Dubai! im sooo curious to see what all the buzz is about! all my siblings keep sayin its beautiful there and our house is amazin! so im finally gonna be able to see it soon! oh i saw pictures of it..we have a swimmin pool too! wicked! even though im afraid of deep water, its pretty sick to have a pool in ur backyard!

alright well, ive updated everything i can about myself! everythin thats been happenin to me, my life and the people around me! i better get some sleep now! been studyin for the whole night! till next time!

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU
-Haz

Precious Wonders

dear diary, lots of things happened today..from me failin both my calculus and physics test to me gettin 300 bucks to me feelin very excited to write this blog. This blog is gonna be more of a tribute than just another daily event in my life.today i did my physics and calculus test..it was super hard and i feel bad about not studyin long enough..even though i may have not slept in 2 days, i keep feelin guilty about not startin my revision days ago..The physics test wasnt as easy as it looked. Sure the formulas were quite easy to remember but to apply it to the question was very difficult and its somethin i have to overcome by the time i get to the Finals..But Calculus..well where can i even begin? In the exam hall, i sat in the very front seat(the place where you cant cheat because the invigilator is right on ur ass)..so there i was, in my grey sweater and my navy green baggy pants and white adidas, lookin around at the other kids who were answerin the questions confidently and easily as if it was 2+2..i was soo out of ideas and my brain wasnt functionin well...the guy next to me tried to look at my paper..i shook my head and mouthed 'no fuckin way' because theres indeed no fuckin way hes gonna get a right answer by lookin at my paper..so i kinda did him a favor..hahaha i was scribblin on the question paper and practin drawin a face i remember so well whereever i go. it was a face of a girl, whom i keep thinkin about everytime im not talkin to someone. She's so sweet with her perfect smile, her lovely eyes and her cute nose..It'd be quite embarassin if she had seen the drawin that i made because it was soo horribly drawn..i guess im not good when it comes to drawin people's face...but i dont care, cause that way she'll only appear in my head..every now and then i laugh softly like a loser when i think about her. To me, shes the most beautiful angel ive ever seen. No words can describe how i feel about her. She's so special to me, my more than friend. I keep picturin her in my head..
Minutes pass as I did nothin but think about this girl. Why cant i find someone like her in Malaysia..shes one of a kind. I looked at the clock on the wall and it says 5pm...15 more minutes till the test finishes. I started panickin in a way because I know i'm gonna fail this test therefore theres gonna be consequences. My dads gonna kill me, moms gonna cut down my allowance..im gonna be in a lot of shit. but then i looked down on my answer booklet and i saw the face that i had drawn earlier; i felt relieved and happy in a way. I no longer feel scared cause whenever i think about her, i feel calm. She's the only one that can make me happy. When the clock finally strikes 5:15pm, the invigilators took our answer booklet away and ordered us to leave the hall in a civilised manner...on the whole, i did only 3 out of 7 questions which was not that bad i guess because i chose to do the questions with the most points..on my way out, everyone was talkin about how hard and how stressful the test was..i just smiled because as stupid as i was in dreamin about her for almost the whole hour, i never regret one second of it..i guess you can say that this is the day i realise how important she is to me. Ill always love her

Wherever you are, this one is for you..

-Haz

Tuesday, 20th of January 09!

alright so i just got back from the library a couple of hours ago.. it was rainin quite hard so i had to run quickly to the bus stop while coverin my head with the two books that i just borrowed....theyre quiet interestin and i kno that because ill be fillin my head with it for the next two weeks..i wont spoil the title of the books just yet, as it will probably ruin the point of this blog haha..apparently, ever since Uniten officially opened their big-ass library (which i think was like more than 10 years ago or so), i was actually the first person to check the two books out from it believe it or not! how honored was i, not to mention happy too, to actually be the first person in the history of Uniten to open the pages of these books! you may deem me romantic, but the truth is, i feel quite angry with the fact that noone in uniten cares about the two books..these are just two of the many books that i believe can actually change your life and the way you see things..the fact that i found them hangin on the shelf at the very back corner has got to be destiny..i wasnt suppose to be there in the first place..i went to the library because a friend of mine lost his keys there..so i say to myself, since i'm near the library, why not help him look for his keys? so off i went to look for it..i didnt find it unfortunately..even asked the security people if they had found a missin key..they said no so i went to the third floor of the library in hope to find it myself..thats when i saw the chart on one of the shelves..it shows the many topics that the library has books on and how happy was i when i saw LITERATURE at the very bottom! i headed to the place where they have books on Literature and started lookin for familiar names..i saw many crappy books by crappy authors..they even have The Great Gatsby in Malay! fuck u kno! then i saw the books that caught my attention..
'An Introduction to Modern European Literature from Romanticism to Postmodernism' by Martin Travers and 'Literature; An Introduction to Reading and Writing' by Edgar V. Roberts and Henry E. Jacobs...words cant describe how grateful i was that im studyin in uniten! if i was studyin in UIA or UITM, im pretty sure i wouldnt have found books like these there..straight away i went to the counter and asked the pretty lady if i can borrow these two books..she said 'wow ur the first person to borrow this!' i smiled and gave her my id card..she gave me two weeks to finish them and i'm ok with that! so then i walked out, proudly holdin the two books instead of puttin them in the bag..i didnt want to ruin the covers of it..i am to protect it at all cost! these are the books that will get me thinkin so creatively and so 'out of the box', just like im used to when i was in Qatar..
so there u go, this may have been one of the most boring blogs that u have read in ur boring life, but meh..i dont care, i'm happy and im sooo gonna start readin them as soon as i finish my physics and calculus test, which are on friday...

-Haz :)